Relationship Rescue 101

Nobody likes going through a break up. They are difficult to deal with, bring up bad emotions, are stressful, traumatic, and even worse…all too common. Perhaps that’s why the question of “how do I get my ex back?” is popular. Regardless of how often it happens to others, if it’s happening to you then you to know what to do to increase your chances of success in your quest to get your ex back.

What you do after the break up will determine how likely you are to get back together again. With that in mind, here are some things to consider when trying to get back with your ex.

1. Be Yourself. This is essential. You may want to act like a different person in the hopes that your ex will respond more favorably, but that will be a mistake. Even if they would get back together with you more quickly, you can only keep up the charade for so long. It is far better to be honest with your ex, and with yourself. In time, your ex will need to be attracted to the real you. Anything else is just asking for trouble.

2. Do Not Flirt with your ex’s friends under any circumstances. You may think you’re only being funny, or you may be trying to be spiteful, but in reality you will be showing a complete lack of class and consideration for your ex. Remember, you’re trying to win them back, and you won’t do that by being rude; whether it’s intentional or not.

3. Be brave and confident and tell your ex how you still feel about them. At the same time, don’t overdo it to the point of scaring them away, or giving them the impression that you’re some sort of obsessed stalker. Let them know in a subtle, yet direct way.

You will also have to be completely honest about what you’re willing to do and not to do to make things work, but any effort you are willing to put forth will count for something.

4. Either get back together for good, or stay apart for good. Of course, it can take a while to get back together, but once you do, you should do whatever you can to stay together. The only thing worse than breaking up is making up and breaking up repeatedly.

Why put yourself through the heartache over and over again. Therefore, you have to make sure that you really want to work things out before you go any farther. The reverse is true, as well. If your ex is the one that wants to work things out, then make sure that’s what they really want.

5. Learn from the past. Before you can move forward, it’s important to look backward. Now, that doesn’t mean you should relive every nasty argument and yell and scream at each other. Instead, take some time to uncover what led to your breaking up. Once you understand what really happened, you will be in a better position to keep it from happening again.

After a bad break up it would not be uncommon to ask yourself “how do I get my ex back after a breakup?”  It’s a fair question and illustrates that you still have feelings for them. However, the question also comes with a healthy dose of uncertainty. The good news is that there are some things you can do to have a better idea of your chances of getting back together.

It all comes down to communication. You need to be talking to each other to get an idea of how things are going. With that in mind, here a few ways to use communication to your advantage.

Flirt a little! The purpose of doing this is not to tease him, it’s to see if he returns the flirting. If you want to know how your question of “how do I get my ex back?” is being answered, then this is a great place to start.

When talking, be sure to maintain eye contact. At the same time, see how well he keeps eye contact with you. Also, be sure to see if there is any kind of pattern to when he breaks eye contact. For example, if he looks away any time you mention your prior relationship together, then that’s probably a bad sign.

If your ex happens to be the one initiating contact, even if it’s under the guise of small talk, then that shows that he’s interested in talking to you. As long as he is willing to talk, there is hope for getting back together.

See how they react whenever you mention your breakup, or see if they mention it in the first place. The next step is to listen to what words they choose when talking about it. Even if they are seemingly remorseful or claiming to be sorry about it, the actual words they use can be a better indicator of their true feelings.

Don’t try to make him jealous, but feel free to drop hints that you are ready and willing to explore other options. Again, note how he responds to this. You have to be subtle when doing this, otherwise he will get the idea that it is permanently over, and that he can move on, too.

Do something that may draw a compliment from him, and see if he takes the bait. For example, a new outfit or a new hairdo. If he wouldn’t have commented on such things when you were together, but he does now, you can take that as a positive hint of getting back together in the near future.

And now, saving the best for last. So far we have been talking about verbal communication, but there is one other aspect that is worth being on the alert for, and that’s being physical. Easy! That doesn’t mean anything overt. Instead, when you’re talking pay attention to “accidental” brushes against your arm, touches on your hands, or even a playful elbow. The question of “how do I get my ex back after a break up?” is wrought with confusion and trepidation, but if he’s touching you, then you’re sure to be back together sooner, rather than later.