Relationship Rescue 101

If anyone that tells you being in a relationship is easy, I suggest they have by no means been in a real relationship. In fact, a trip to your local library will give you some idea of how lots of people need help with their relationships. You can use books or anything else when evaluating your relationship with your companion, but how you do it isn’t as important as just doing it. Here are some things to remember as you take a closer look at your relationship.

You have to be prepared to take the facts when you uncover them. While you will likely discover a lot of good things about your relationship, additionally, you will find a few things that need improvement. Do not ignore the bad things, and do not try to justify it away. You should face the facts, and then do what needs to be implemented to make things far better. After all, the purpose of analyzing your relationship together with your partner is to find out about that relationship; not liking the answers is not a reason to disregard those answers.

The tricky area of the evaluation is going in without any expectations in regards to the results. For instance, in the event you go in asking something similar to “are we going to keep together,” then that can skew your own results. You are aiming for a true evaluation, rather than attempting to verify a suspicion. Be open-minded and honest as you go with the process and you will get a better result.

Here are a few impartial questions that you could ask:

1. What would you like from your romantic relationship? Don’t worry about becoming selfish and respond to this question honestly and thoroughly. It doesn’t matter if you want financial security, emotional comfort, a partner to have fun with, or anything else; exactly what matters is that you recognize what is you want the relationship to provide.

2. Exactly what does your partner want? The other side of the coin is learning what your partner wants from the relationship. Don’t be judgmental as well as do your best in order to foster an atmosphere regarding openness. Some of the things they say may shock or upset you, and that is okay as you are only in the breakthrough stage.

3. What do you like best about your partner and your relationship? Try to think about all of the different aspects of your relationship and look for the maximum amount of good things as you can.

4. What do you like least? No-one is perfect, no relationship is perfect, but you can’t fix something if you don’t know it’s really a problem.

5. Where is your relationship in comparison to where you wish it to be? This is the final step of evaluating your relationship together with your partner. You know what the two of you want from your romantic relationship, what you like, and what you don’t. Now you have to take all that you have found and see how near the mark you are. How much work needs to be carried out will depend upon many factors, but at least you now have a good idea of what to do.

Romantic relationships happen all the time and it is quite possible that they can happen in the workplace as they can anywhere else. When you work with a lot of people every day, friendships will develop and can possibly turn into something more. You might find that a group of co-workers will start going out on the town for drinks after work every Friday night.

This behavior is normal and romantic relationships can develop between two people who spend a lot of time together in any situation and who may find they have feelings for each other. How this can influence things at work depends on if the relationship works out or not.

If you are considering dating someone at work check out the HR policy on it first, you may find you can get into some trouble if you date someone within the company. Otherwise do what you can to keep things under wraps while you are at work.

No one needs to know your business and if there is a policy against co-workers dating then you will stay out of trouble. A third reason is that you both will not become fodder for rumours.

When the dynamic changes between two people at work and they decide to commit to each other in a serious manner, care must be taken to keep productivity at the same level or higher otherwise the boss will suspect something is going on and may question you.

Do what you can to stay as productive as were before the relationship started and you will not have any problems. Do not spend all of your time sending e-mails or calling the other person on the phone. There is a time and a place for all of that and that isn’t at work.

Make plans to meet for lunch before you get to work. Then at lunch make plans for after work. Try your best to keep your relationship out of the workplace. You may be so excited and feel like telling some of your closer co-workers about your new love but refrain from doing so. Word will get out if you do this and this is when the trouble we talked about earlier can start. No one needs to lose their job over falling in love especially in this economy where jobs are hard to come by. Do everything you can to keep the one you’ve got.

If the newness wears off and the relationship starts to go sour do your best to keep the breaking up out of the workplace as well. Do not let your productivity waver in this situation either. Deal with the break up on your own time.

Romantic relationships can be tough at any time, but between two co-workers it needs special attention. If things do go sour and you work in the same department then one of you could ask for a transfer to another department to stay out of trouble. You know what they say, “Out of sight, out of mind”.

If your happen to be reading this, there is a strong possibility that your are concerned about your own marriage or someone elses who is close to you. Here, you will find some ‘real’ tips on how you can begin to fix your marriage and hopefully, even improve your relationship.

1. Be realistic. Take a long hard look at you and your spouse. Do both of you really want to work on the marriage? Now is not the time for wishful thinking, it is time for a reality check.

If both of you aren’t willing to make changes the odds of you saving your marriage are very low.

2. If you honestly think that both of you are interested in doing what needs to be done to save the marriage, the next step is to determine what to do.

In most cases, the longer a relationship goes on, the more resentments and bitterness have built up. Chipping away at all this “residue” will take time. But first you need to identify it.

That can be difficult. You see, no normal person goes ballistic because their husband left the seat up or because their wife burned the casserole ( a little annoyed and frustrated sure, but not enraged).

The over the top anger usually stems from something else entirely. It has been festering right under the surface and the smallest thing can set it off.

Identifying this festering anger and the real causes behind it will allow both of you to face the old hurts and anger and move on past them.

3. None of what I have talked about is all that hard, however it can still be helpful to find someone to guide the two of you through.

These emotional issues are like landmines, if you don’t watch where you step they can blow up in your face.  A good counselor can act as a bit of a navigator and a bit of a referee. That may make it possible for the two of you to actually accomplish something worthwhile.

4. And last, but not least, learn how to communicate in an effective non – toxic way. Too many times the old hurts and angers will show up in your words too.

When that happens, the simplest comment can sound like condemnation and it can set your partner off.

No one likes to feel like they are being blamed or judged and if the two of you don’t know how to communicate and move past the debris of the past, you will continually set each other off and nothing will get accomplished.

These tips will help you gain perspective and start making positive changes which will make it easier for you to fix your marriage. It can be done, get the help you need and keep a positive attitude and the two of you may just work it out.