Relationship Rescue 101

Try this!

If you say that you need help, there are a lot of things you can do as you are not alone.  For instance, there are many self-help out there, or just try to talk to friends or perhaps see a therapist if things get really bad, tell them “”. The main thing is that before you get help, it’s important that you take some time to determine if you are really willing to act on the advice you are given.

Here are a couple things to thing about:

Firstly, what has brought your relationship to this point and how much of it has been your fault?  Owning up to your own issues is the first step to mending your relationship. Until both parties are willing to admit their own shortcomings and are willing to find solutions than the relationship won’t work.

Secondly, are you both mature enough to not only face your own issues, but to make the changes you need to make for your relationship to succeed?  Many people aren’t strong enough to deal with their problems, they find it so much easier to just point fingers and blame their partner.

Third, are you and your partner willing to forgive and forget?  If one or the other of you would rather be ‘right’ all the time, then just move on from here as it’s unlikely that the relationship will flourish or be fulfilling. To make things work you have to both be willing to move forward together and let go of some of the hurt and the anger from the past.

Lastly, are you and your partner able (and willing) to keep a positive outlook and keep plugging away and trying to fix the problems in your relationship?  Unless you are both 100% committed to being in this for the long haul, your relationship is unlikely to succeed. It’s likely to take the two of you some time to break old, bad habits and replace them with better habits.

If you ask for help saying,”I need help saving my relationship”, the first thing you should do is to honestly ask the questions above.  If you don’t think you can follow through on these issues (or you don’t think your partner will), you may not be able to salvage your relationship and it may be time for the two of you to go your separate ways as attempts at a relationship rescue will not succeed.

For more advice on a variety of relationship issues we recommend the Magic of Making Up.

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