Relationship Rescue 101

July 17th, 2010

Try this!

If you say that you need some help, then take heart as there are a lot of things you can do. Remember, you are not alone and there is a wealth of experience out there for you to draw on.  For instance, there are many self-help guides out there, or you could just try to talk to friends or perhaps see a therapist if things get really bad, tell them “”. The main thing is that before you get help, it’s important that you take some time to determine if you are really willing to act on the advice you are given.

Here are a couple things to think about:

Firstly, what has brought your relationship to this point and how much of it has been your fault?  Owning up to your own issues is the first step to mending your relationship. Until both parties are willing to admit their own shortcomings and are willing to find solutions, than the relationship won’t work.

Secondly, are you both mature enough to not only face your own issues, but to make the changes you need to for your relationship to succeed?  Many people aren’t strong enough to deal with their problems, they find it so much easier to just point fingers and blame their partner.

Third, are you and your partner willing to forgive and forget?  If either of you would rather be ‘right’ all the time, then just move on from here as it’s unlikely that the relationship will flourish or be fulfilling. To make things work you have to both be willing to move forward together and let go of some of the hurt and the anger from the past.

Lastly, are you and your partner able (and willing) to keep a positive outlook and keep plugging away and trying to fix the problems in your relationship?  Unless you are both 100% committed to being in this for the long haul, your relationship is unlikely to succeed. It’s likely to take the two of you some time to break old, bad habits and replace them with better habits.

If you ask for help saying,”I need help saving my relationship”, the first thing you should do is to honestly ask the questions above.  If you don’t think you can follow through on these issues (or you don’t think your partner will), you may not be able to salvage your relationship and it may be time for the two of you to go your separate ways as attempts at a relationship rescue will not succeed.

For more advice on a variety of relationship issues we recommend the Magic of Making Up.

How To Rekindle Love With Your Ex Boyfriend – Stop The Desperation

April 13th, 2013

Many girls when trying to win their ex back become quite desperate and this act of desperation will actually turn your ex away.  Men don’t like women that are desperate and needy so don’t act in desperation but instead toughen up, plan what you are going to do and then take steps to rekindle that love.  It won’t be easy and you may even need to make some sacrifices but it your best chance at getting your boyfriend back.

Firstly you don’t want to call or text your boyfriend for a little while you need to take time to clear your head and think things through.  If you call him while you are upset and emotional you often say things you don’t mean, don’t make a lot of sense or sound desperate, so avoid calling him while you are still emotional.  Take this time on your own to reflect about the relationship and what went wrong.

During this time you want to identify your needs and your wants and also work on figuring out what it is that he needs and wants.  This self reflection time will help you to find yourself again and find what it is that you want in life and in a relationship.  If your boyfriend did something that resulted in this breakup then you need to decide whether it is something that you can forgive him for.  If you can’t forgive him then you need to let go of any thoughts of getting back together and move on.  If you can forgive him then you must do that so that you don’t go back into the relationship holding a grudge.

Through this self reflection time look at how you act when you are around him.  Are you clingy and possessive of him?  Men like to be able to provide and protect their women but they don’t like women that are overly possessive and paranoid so if you have been acting this way then you need to take steps to change that.  Even when you are in a relationship you need some amount of individuality and you need to let him have that and you should also have it yourself.  You need to take a good look at all the aspects of the relationship and see where it went wrong and where there is room for improvement.

When you are calm and are thinking clearly and have discovered yourself and what might have gone wrong in the relationship, and then you will be ready to talk to him.  Call him and invite him out to one of your favorite places that you both enjoyed going to together.  Talk about the things that you have in common and the things you liked to do together.  Talk about the happy moments that you had together.

Then talk about what you have been doing and what you have been thinking about.  Let him know that you have thought long and hard about the relationship and that you want to work together with him to overcome any problems that you had and make the relationship work.

If your ex boyfriend is already dating someone else then don’t go chasing him, if he has moved on then perhaps you need to do the same.  He might not be happy with this new person and realize he has made a mistake and call you, but if he doesn’t then you need to let him go.  Chasing him when he is happily dating someone else will just bring you more heartache.

It is hard work to win your ex back and you want to go into it prepared and ready to work at your relationship.

Get Your Ex To Come Back – What Works And What Does Not

January 6th, 2013

If you want to , you need to understand the difference between what works and what doesn’t.  Don’t get sidetracked by semantics.  There are people that will argue that any strategy can be successful given the right circumstances.  Technically, that is correct.  However, are you interested in technicalities if some strategies practically work just once in several lifetimes?  Chances are you aren’t and that is why we need to clearly divide the different approaches into those that work and those that do not.

Right off the bat, the best approach to take is the one of giving your ex some time and space initially.  Remember that regardless of who broke up with whom, your ex is going to need some time in order to get over the breakup itself.  They are going to need time and space from you.  At this point, if you continue to see them often, you risk alienating them even further and dooming your chances of ever getting back together with them.

Eventually, they’ll get over the breakup.  At that point, you can start to build your relationship with them again.  It is at this point that the successful strategies can diverge.  There is the aggressive strategy and the conservative one from this point.

The aggressive strategy calls for you to really ramp things up and gamble on them not really being committed to the breakup.  You can push them a bit harder with the aggressive strategy, but you still need to walk the line in order to make sure that you don’t overdo things.  If you do, you risk the strategy backfiring and you losing your ex both as a potential lover and as a potential friend.

Many people are interested in staying friends with their ex even if they can’t get them to come back.  If you want to make sure that your ex is your friend if you can’t get your ex to come back, the conservative strategy is the one for you to take.  This involves slowly letting the relationship build and then going from good friends to lovers when the opportunity presents itself.  Do not push your ex and do not push yourself.  You’ve got time as friends that you can treasure until the opportune moment comes.  

This strategy is often less successful at getting back to a romantic relationship than the aggressive one because the opportunities for change are fewer when you’re being conservative.  However, it doesn’t have the same blowback potential that the aggressive one has and therefore is better overall for making sure that you maintain some kind of positive relationship with your ex, even if that relationship is non-romantic in nature.

In the end, the decision that you make will have a lot to do with the priorities that you have.  If you definitely want your ex back romantically and don’t care about their friendship, you’re more likely to go aggressive.  If you want to preserve some kind of relationship with them at all costs, conservative is the obvious choice.

You Can Create The Perfect Wedding

November 24th, 2012

Are you interested in having a wedding during the summer or winter? Consider what flowers are in season and easily available. There are so many things to consider and decisions to be made when you are planning a wedding. Planning a wedding can be a challenging and daunting task, and these tips will make your task easier!

If you plan on giving a wedding speech, plan the speech and practice it. You need to carefully plan out what you want to say, and then rehearse it in front of someone who can give you honest feedback. Otherwise, you may end up with egg on your face.

Your wedding dress could be one of the most expensive items included in your wedding, but there are ways to save money on this purchase. When you are browsing through dress shops, remember to look a dresses that are not officially categorized as wedding dresses.

If a wedding cake with a high price tag or high calorie count doesn’t appeal to you, check around at local bakeries for beautiful individual portions. There are boutiques that will bake fresh cupcakes with very few calories specifically for your event, and deliver them. These boutiques also often have healthy options available such as gluten-free, fruit based fillings instead of frosting, and healthier alternative toppings.

The most important thing when considering marriage is the person you will be marrying. Don’t rush into this decision. Give careful thought to that person, what you absolutely must have in your life, and what might irritate you.

If you want to get married outdoors, make sure you have a backup plan. Make sure you have some tents installed or a backup hall nearby, in addition to the planned outdoor venue. You can put boards on the ground, which will help your guests keep their shoes clean when they walk over a muddy area.

TIP! Consider opening a credit card that offers a rewards program. Weddings can be expensive and having a card with miles and deals is vital.

For example, choosing which flowers you want to have in your bouquet or table settings will rely on what’s available in your new location. Speak with people who are in the area where your wedding is located to find out what blooms are available to you.

If your wedding includes a colorful cake that will be its own focal point, use rich, coordinating fabric beneath it to set it off. Your fabric could have patterns or solids and range from heavy textures to silk or satin. All of this can play up visual interest and tie various facets together into a cohesive aesthetic.

Remember that there are alternatives to purchasing a brand new engagement ring. An heirloom piece of jewelry can be a wonderful engagement ring that has great sentimental value. This piece of jewelery can be a keepsake that can show you’ve become part of a new family and will also be wearing a beautiful piece of jewelery.

If you are short on money but long on time, then try printing all your wedding invitations yourself. Buying an invitation kit will be a lot cheaper than purchasing completed wedding invitations and has the added advantage of allowing you to control every aspect of the finished product, including the inks, the fonts, the colors and the wording.

If you want a relative or friend to officiate the wedding, they can get ordained online. This makes the wedding a bit more personal, and also means you don’t have to pay the fee for a justice of the peace. Always consult your local laws to ensure that this is legal, and be sure to get the right paperwork and accreditation in order.

TIP! Large centerpieces are unnecessary on your tables as they not only eat away at your budget, but serve as an unneeded distraction. Instead of buying a centerpiece that is so big it covers the whole table, use something simple.

See if you can borrow a special item of apparel from a friend for your wedding ceremony. This helps you save money, look beautiful and will make your wedding day extra special.

It is important to get high quality wedding photos so that you can truly cherish them throughout your life and hand them down to your descendants. See to it that you hire professional photographers and pay a little bit more for this if needed in order to document this wonderful experience.

After reading these tips, it’s safe to say that you probably weren’t aware of even half of these ideas. And that’s because no one ever realizes just how much goes into planning a wedding until they’re actually staring at it in the face. A wedding is perhaps the most detail-oriented celebration out there, so be sure that you’re using these tips to help you out.